March 2012
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There was a curious glow before I knew you, imagining so many possibilities in what I knew was never to be true. I never kept hope, but there is a difference between loss and not having anything to begin with. I think this is the point where I realize we’re strangers, not just you but all of us; wandering around and lowering gazes when eyes meet our heights. Cracks on the ground were more...
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because in the rawest state, nothing was ugly; god was the untouched beauty in every breath
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Out away from home, the mystery behind tired eyes ruins my serenity; headphones are useless when your ears long to hear the stories from unknown tongues. The despair in some, as if others are mirrors— well that’s what it is, I don’t really have friends or family. Just reflections of different shapes and sizes, walking around under foreign frames. I talk to myself when another converses...
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Sometimes I have memories of an air that I have tasted, the aroma of burning incense and charred wood. It has this nostalgic spell cast on it, the simple scent of a candle could trigger a warp in time; where my eyes close and an image runs wild through the abode of my mind, breaking the fabric of sanity. What is, what was, and what is not fuses with what will. In that place, the sun refuses to...
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you could have returned this heart, the beats in and under this chest; but dare to return these memories, that rained on my cheeks. the patient days between sunrise and and sunset.
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“عاشق دی دل موم برابر معشوقاں ول کالھی ہُو
طعمہ ویکھے تر تر تکے جیون بازاں دی...”
– Sultan Bahu
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in the abundance of the sea, colossus waters rose and settled; under it’s sky and below the feet of god, i saw many fish and crabs, but not a single drop of you.
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i could forget a thousand words, die on my own name; remembering to turn beads one by one. i lived for the remembrance of you, on pyres and stones; forgetting to run into bodies of god. home was just a mile away, under trees and rocks; bittersweet was the bed of your love, on aching backs.
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with fog under skies, and blue in waters; come home, stay awhile. wait until your scent lives in with my sheets, leave like the moon leaves the morning; but return, like stars returns in night.
Anonymous asked: That lonesome quality. That incomplete air that fills the space between two drops two snowflakes two people two thoughts. They twirl and swirl around each other. Never fully connecting but never truly staying apart. An invisible un-connection. Something.. just something. Snowflakes are wonderful.
2 tags
this is a just time,
read for mornings
and evenings; we’ll
clap our hands in
night, in light— under
god above clouds,
worry will bleed
from our throats.
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There was a face I saw today through and behind a dirty glass. Wearing a slightly worn out toque, looking attentively as I gave my order to the cashier and almost jumping with excitement when the payment was approved. It was wrong to stare, given the circumstance she was in, especially the cultural barrier that frowned upon this kind of behavior— but I was discreet enough to catch a few glimpses....
2 tags
It hurts to breathe sometimes, when I’m outside in the cold behind a cigarette; I love to take giant gulps from my cold-before-the-first-sip coffee. I think I’ve seen and heard every sentence and scenario that walks by the bench, towards class. Kind of funny, seeing familiar faces that your never met, a strange sense of acknowledgement flies through the air between us. I walked into...
1 tag
I was looking up at the night sky as I was walking home through the cemetery, you can see the stars very clearly and this one outshines the rest; well, while my eyes were locked on this diamond I walked right into a huge tombstone and hurt myself. Good thing only the ghosts saw me embarrass myself.
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in bitter cold,
I cling to my shawl;
it’s brittle texture against
my shivering my face— blessed
to be held on such brutal
occaisons. the night
meets the day.
Anonymous asked: The snowflakes poem. I cried.
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i forgot the poles that held a man together, my tent flailed in your wind; rippling like mighty waves, saying your name with each flap. but tearing every time i dared catch a glimpse with innocent stares even.
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in the spaces
between falling
snowflakes, the
beauty of loss
lived; the distant
and lonely drops
of frozen water
fell. to meet
again and again.
February 2012
2 tags
xiaheart:
Mahiya Tere Vekhan Nu-Wadali Brothers
2 tags
Vaguely remember the escape under closed eyes, narrow vision blacked out around one point; tunneling into something so clear it hazed consciousness. It was an attractive sight that pulled me in head first, with burning eyes and fiery passion in my chest. I’m a simple person, but this luxury that lied just within arm’s reach was seducing my hands for a grasp. But like everything in the...
1 tag
Hush dar dam — awareness of breathing
Being aware or conscious of one’s breathing. Breathing deeply in a natural rhythm without being preoccupied by breathing. Inhaling and exhaling whilst in remembrance of God.
Nazar ba kadam — watching over the steps
Watching over one’s steps, ie being aware of one’s intention. Paying attention and not being distracted from one’s goal,...
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cracking whip
hit my back, wind
broke on my spine;
the sensation of loss
intoxicated these nerves.
a tall tree stood, through
storms and rain— wet
under battered bark.
2 tags
Oh god, go away nightmares; please and thank you
4 tags
Man, I just watched a documentary about Aghori Sadhus in India and now I’m never gonna be able to sleep again in my life; or be in a dark room.
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Sometimes you do things because you do them, and don’t ‘not-do’ them; life.
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You know what’s really wicked? When someone sits you down and shows concern for your lifestyle and future with tears in their eyes, and for some unholy and mysterious reason— you burst into laughter and almost collapse a lung.
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You know what I see a lot of around me? Finger pointers. You know those people, you’ve seen them and fuck, you’ve agreed with them too. “Fuck white people for stealing my culture”; “Thanks to society, I’m depressed and sad”; “So-and-so nation did so-and-so action towards me/them”. Shut up. Nothing is gained from pointing out another’s...
2 tags
I wanted to
turn my face,
from the sun;
the glorious
light in my eyes
burned away
memories— lips
my heart wanted
again. unseen
blindness felt
warmer than you.
2 tags
Sometimes I feel eerily calm, at the center of a storm. Rain hits my face at disastrous speeds and wind flails my loose clothing wildly in exhausted air, this feeling is something simpler than the complicated reality of my own conviction; resting between my eyes on the bridge of my nose— instinct takes a backseat under the clouds of my thoughts. You realize so many things that you already have...
xiaheart said: yaya! i am leaving the month after =D
• see you there *tips hat and runs away*
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friend calls me
“Hey, so yeah we’re going to India one hundred percent on April 24th”
Anonymous asked: -touches your face-
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love grasped me,
with it’s claws;
suffocating hate
and fear— I was in
awe of the gray and
the yellow in the sky.
and when the bird
was caught in the
falcon’s talon, my
own eyes knew;
we looked into
the same bliss,
and plunged
deep into
the pits
of
earth.
2 tags
I saw a
blue flower,
raised from dirt;
thirst for water on
the lips— petals fell
not too far, from a small,
jade green stem. I swear I saw
reason to believe, to die; peace lived.
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I found out why we don’t leave our shoes right outside the door— I am now shoeless and going on an adventure through my garage
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If the human race was entirely dependent on pancakes and maple syrup, I don’t know but I like pancakes and maple syrup
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I think it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically [basically anything that ends with -ally] impossible to hate or dislike Iran because of America’s bunched-up-panties; anyone who does so, is stupid.
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if there were
strings that
I could tie,
for every prayer
on every door;
if there was
time, I still
sit under clouds
and bright sun.
I know one
day I’ll see
love ahead, veiled
above all the gray.
2 tags
I cried harder
than monsoons raged
on warm summers,
blushed with lies I told
and truths I sang;
my sanity never asked,
but in the end god
told me there was another
day, and the devil
said ‘..another night too..’
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but i prayed a thousand times for a single object, not for mine; many steps away stood a house, and i begged to know which one slept during nights, and brushed black hair in the early crisp sun .
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there was
something
beautiful in trying,
I guess; if I could
be just quiet
this one time,
I only missed
you. But I could never
be sure, hemmed to my
own soul, only
tearing for you.
1 tag
you call me, yell and scream until you cry, and then hang up
it’s not my fault i loved you and still, so fucking sorry i came into your life at the wrong time; really. i had no idea, i should have just told you earlier on when i didn’t know right. thanks, i don’t know what i have done to deserve any of this; but it’s a blessing at least to love once before you die. when my...
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i guess memories are just a series of coincidences that stood out from my already mundane life, they’re kind of like that extra sugar packet in the black coffee i drink every morning. it’s really unhealthy to have that much sugar in the morning all the time, and sometimes you can see it’s effects on my body; it’s okay though, a little sweetness is nice. i’m not one...
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I will forever be lame and bland from now on, I think emotions are overrated and time-consuming
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I wish Forrest Gump could win the Nobel Peace Prize for every year since 1994, it is the only movie that I’ve watched and pretended like I missed something so I can watch it again repeatedly.
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I feel like I should go out and grab some iced tea, but I found some cranberry juice in my friends fridge. I don’t know the meaning of this, but at some point you realize that sour-blood-colored beverages are a lot better than beverages that are just former hot beverages.
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if life was a gamble, and the world was a poker table: I’d be the guy who never goes to the casino, but when he does he just stands there making fun of Chinese-people losing their money
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life only makes sense when it’s raining or snowing, everything else is just a waste; autumn is okay too